THE BIG 4-0

On October 3rd I turned 40.  Enough said!

One of the best birthday presents I have ever received was a surprise dinner at a fancy restaurant in downtown Indy with three of my favorite people.  What fun!

HALLOWEEN (IN THREE ACTS)

We knew this year Eliza would really get to enjoy Halloween so we made the most of it with three different Halloween costumes and various holiday events. 

Our first holiday event was at home with a cookie decoration party with Eliza's preschool classmates.  It was so much fun!

We then visited the Nashville Zoo for their Halloween Ghouls at Grassmere event while we were on our first family vacation in Tennessee the last week of October.  She wore her Halloween party outfit but added the maracas, snake and mask after we went trick or treating at the zoo. 

She was Minnie Mouse at her preschool Halloween party and one of her best buddies was Mickey Mouse.  We hadn't planned this but it sure did turn out cute.  All of the kids got to trick or treat down the hallway, knocking on classroom doors, practicing for the main event later in the week. Eliza and Brody made an awful cute trick or treating pair.

When Halloween came around we went with our best deal yet and most practical for the chilly weather forecast.  We picked up the adorable Blue's Clues costume for $1 at a garage sale in Tennessee.  Noah and Morgan stopped by for our traditional Halloween photo shoot. 

And what may become another tradition...mummy hot dogs to fill our tummies before heading out for sweets and treats.  

FIRST CLASS PICTURES

It was hard to believe that back in August my little girl would be starting preschool.  It's even harder now to believe she's had her first school pictures taken.  But all that shock is easily replaced with an unbelievable amount of joy!  She did a great job and once again her adorableness (and a little sass) is on display.  

The photographer was open to having siblings, and in my case, mommies sit in on the shoot.  

GROWING UP

Most of you know that a month ago my parent's house in Lowell was destroyed in a propane leak explosion. Losing my parents the way I have I guess I shouldn't be surprised when something this odd and tragic and devastating happens but I was surprised and devastated and it all seemed just so...odd. And it was more than tragic, more tragic than I have even been able to understand. On so many levels it seemed like a such a cruel event to happen to so many people. Good people. People just going about their lives, helping others even. My parent's home, my childhood home was literally obliterated. Our neighbors to the west also lost their home, having caught on fire after the explosion. And most tragically, our neighbor, Vic Strain, lost his life while in our house looking for the fuse box, with no clue or hint that something so devastating was about occur . It's impossible to know what actually triggered the explosion but the aftermath that the explosion triggered is still making itself known.

Because the aftermath is still so confusing, tragic and continues to be unjust in so many ways I'll save the words for another time. But here are some thoughts that have become very clear this past month. A month that also included my 40th birthday.

A month ago today my childhood officially ended. I know, it technically ended many, many years ago. But when you always have the home you grew up in available to you then really, do you ever grow up? The moment you step inside that part of you that never wants to grow up makes itself easily at home and doesn't surrender the hold on that nostalgic part of your heart until you leave again.

And while dealing with the loss of my childhood I kept finding myself asking so many "why didn't I" questions. Why didn't I take my favorite sleeping bag? Why didn't I take more of my toys for Eliza to play with? Why didn't I take this, why didn't I take that? And now it's all gone and I missed my chance.

And it really isn't entirely about stuff. What the message is for me is DON'T WAIT. What ever it is you want to do, DON'T WAIT. With only a very few exceptions there is no better time than now to do what ever it is that you have been meaning to do (most likely for a very long time!). And for those of you have lost much more than stuff this last month, for those of you who have lost loved ones, best friends, partners, children, pets or co-workers or any other special person, if there is someone in your life that you need to tell something to, do something with, or hug please do not hesitate. DON'T WAIT. If you do you may have to grow up a lot faster than you want. And if you have a dream, chase it. It's a lot easier when you have that inner child alive and well, the part that says "I can do this". 

We all say goodbye to that part of us at some point and officially grow up.

Some of the very few visible remnants of my childhood. 

SCHOOL! ELIZA'S FIRST DAY AT APPLE HOUSE COOPERATIVE

Eliza's first day of preschool was this past Wednesday and our whole family was thrilled about the occasion. We've been talking about school for the last month or so and counting down the days on a calendar. Never really knowing what Eliza does and doesn't comprehend it was hard to tell if she really understood what going to school meant to her. She did, however, know that mommy was "too big" to go to school (I am hoping she meant "too old", which I can live with!) and that dogs didn't go to her school either. She also knew that our neighbor, Mya was going to be there and her teacher's name was Mrs. Barkey (actually Bartely). Nonetheless, our first day of school was an exciting one. The theme for the classes (Apple Seeds, Apple Dumplings and Apple Jacks) was Super Heroes. I really wanted her first day to be special and to tie in the Super Hero Theme so I scoured Target and Meijer (at the last minute, of course) and found nothing. So, off to Hobby Lobby to find a Superman logo and some red rhinestones and then to dig out the ironing board and iron to put it all together. I wanted to keep it simple and cute. I think I did both.

Eliza is now a Seed and is on her way to an amazing school year and career. We want her to fall in love with school, make new friends, bond with her teachers and be proud of her accomplishments. Sounds a lot harder than making a Super Hero outfit for the first day of school. Wish us luck!!!

The raw materials

Super Girl and Super Daddy

Super Happy Momma

Is that not the cutest backpack ever?  Thanks, Oma!

A barrette that I wore at her age.  A good luck charm!

Checking out the crazy table with her new classmates.

Be...SUPER!

Her first attempt at painting.  There was zero white space once she was done. 

End of her first day.  A success!

MISSING DAISY

The Earth has the Sun, the Moon the Stars. Constants among the chaos. You, Daisy, were my constant. For nearly 17 years you brought me joy in times of sorrow, peace in times of chaos, comfort in times of loss. You helped make old homes new, strange houses homes and always enjoyed the ride. You traveled with me to the ocean, the far reaches of northern Michigan to nearly every corner of Indiana and to the Bluegrass of Kentucky. You taught me lessons in patience and how to be a compassionate caregiver and to not leave books on the floor. From beginnings and endings and beginnings again you were there. 


To say I cherish our years together is an understatement. To say I am beyond sad is a fact. 

I miss you as much as the Earth would miss the Sun, the moon would miss the stars. Always.