OPEN SPACES

Me and Daisy, Lake Waveland, Summer 2009

Many, many years ago not long after Daisy came into my life someone told me that Daisy was ME.  Similar in many, many ways once this was pointed out to me it was easy to see and accept.  From that point on Daisy and I had a very special, almost kindred relationship.  Over these many years, many losses and many life changes she was my constant.  That was nearly 17 years ago. That was nearly half my life ago.  Yesterday I lost my constant.  I lost a part of me that is gone forever.  I lost my true companion who in so many, many ways was a mirror who reflected the sassy, sweet, naughty, quiet, observer part of me.  Me with freckles, her with spots, our mutual love of food and books (which she considered food), our shared weight struggles and our feistiness...we were a great team.  I've been the girl with dogs for 20 years. Once upon a time I was the girl with two dalmatians.  Seven years ago I lost my first dalmatian and Daisy's buddy, Enjoue.  I then became the girl with the dalmatian.  Daisy was ME.  Now who am I?  

Eliza and Daisy, Christmas in Louisville 2011

I know I am the mom of a little girl who adored Daisy (especially after losing our other best buddy, Joey, on June 1st) and who doesn't understand loss at this age.  Part of caring for Daisy required daily food runs, trips to Starbucks, giving her seven different medicines twice a day, and helping her in many ways others must have thought time-consuming and inconvenient.   Watching us take care of our elderly dogs with love, patience, kindness, care and compassion I hope has taught Eliza some amazing skills she will some day use to make this place a better world for everyone.  

Outer Banks, NC April 2009

Because Daisy required extra care these last several years and because I loved her so much and took her almost everywhere with me my life was pretty full of commitment, responsibility and care-giving.  With her gone there are so many open spaces in my life.  So many, many quiet and open spaces in my heart where a feisty little white dog with black spots once resided and made who me who I am.  

Ice cream!

The details: 
I find it ironic that Daisy would, in the end, suffer from food issues as eating was a passion of hers.  This past spring she became picky and often randomly vomited.  After a visit with our amazing vet we determined she had a case of nausea that was most likely brought on by the various drugs she was on for several years for congestive heart failure and other minor ailments.  After adjusting her meds, introducing a nausea drug and an appetite stimulant she was back on track.  After Joey's passing in June she developed a vicious cycle of tummy troubles but the nausea medicine (and daily trips to McDonald's, Arby's, and Chick-Fil-A) always did the trick.  But with recent weight loss and muscle deterioration, the intermittent nausea, fatigue and almost total loss of appetite the struggles to keep her interested in eating was a battle.  This last cycle started on Thursday and the usual remedies weren't working as before.  On Monday, August 12th, through teary eyes and a unbelievable sadness in our hearts we said goodbye to Daisy Mae.  

A QUICK TRIP TO THE ZOO

What better reason to go to the zoo than to visit our Aunti Lori for her birthday (she works at the zoo and is usually our reason for a quick visit!)!  We had a great time with the flamingos; one in particular enjoyed nibbling on our feet and Eliza's hair.  We also watched the dolphin show from "underwater" and enjoyed watching the bear play with his toy.  The Indianapolis Zoo is a great place to spend the day!  Or just an hour or two.  

Happy Birthday Aunt Lori!

PHOTO SHOOT

Last November I won a silent auction bid at the Bow Wow Bash in Brownsburg for a photography session with razberri Photography.  We finally cashed it in this past June with the intent of capturing Eliza at this very adorable age.  I think we accomplished that and then some.  Please enjoy the slide show/gallery and let us know what you think.  

Eliza's Gallery and Slide Show

(You can click on the last icon on the lower right to enlarge the gallery to full screen.)

ELIZA'S SECOND BIRTHDAY PARTY

Despite the rain (which was very disappointing after spending a couple of months making yard improvements) we had a really nice time celebrating Eliza's second birthday with some great friends and loving family.  

Our theme was CUPCAKES!  We even had mini cupcakes that you could frost and decorate yourself.

This second year really flew by so we are hoping her third birthday takes it's time coming around.  She is growing up way too fast!

GOODBYE JOEY

From your first breath to your last

You were the guardian of my heart. 

From your first breath to my last

Forever in my heart. 

Joey Baloney

December 22, 1999 - June 1, 2013

Always loved, forever missed.

SAYING GOODBYE TO JOEY, PART 4

Remembering.  It's hard remembering when time erases memories you didn't protect.  I didn't even know I had to protect my memories.  It's been 14 years since my mom passed away and I don't think I can remember her voice or her laugh.  I do, however, remember the look she gave me when I was in trouble.  But to remember the sound of her voice, what comfort that would provide at times like this.  Knowing that time can heal the heart but also take away cherished memories I thought I would record things about Joey I don't want to forget like the scent of his fur.  

When thinking about how Joey smells I kept coming up with short phrases like old, worn leather chair.  A new book, an old  book.  Autumn, spring, summer and snow.  Ivy covering an old stone wall and stones at the bottom of a creek worn smooth by an almost undetectable current.  Vanilla and pipe tobacco.  A baseball mitt that had seen years of sunshine and sweat and home-runs.  Fresh cut grass and dead leaves.  The pavement after a spring rain.  A young child after playing all day in the sun.  A piece of sheet music sitting on a music stand ready to be performed for the first time.  A lace doilie passed down from generation to generation.  Sawdust from 100 year old wood floors being refinished.  An old house waiting for the right owners to give it new life and a new life.  A freshly made bed.  Opening the windows for the first time in spring and for the last time in the fall.  Sunflowers and lightning bugs.  Wet pennies.  Holding hands.  Paper drink umbrellas.  A new can of paint and a favorite paintbrush.  Reaching into your coat pocket and finding money and chocolate.  Watching a foreign film in an old theater eating popcorn out of a red and white striped box with a flap. 

Making the list was fun and I let myself continue until it felt right to stop.  I knew right away that most of the things on the list really weren't scents or smelled at all but were things that elicited feelings of comfort and joy, peace and tranquility, of hope and happiness.  And in the end I realized Joey doesn't smell like anything in particular. Joey smells like Joey.  Joey smells like memories.

SAYING GOODBYE TO JOEY, PART 3

I love this face. 

Joey 5.28.13